Posts Tagged ‘Tuesday confessions’

Tuesday Confessions: Dirty Job

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

I have a confession to make. I have a newly discovered hidden talent.

I am a world champion Snot Dodger.

Yes this is gross, but this is a talent that should not go unnoticed. Especially because this is a pending Winter Olympics 2023 event.

I successfully dodged major snot not once but THREE times today.

Round 1:  The Sneaky Sneezer

Lil Susie comes up to me with a “question” but only managed to sneeze in my face. Luckily I was armed with a notebook and blocked my face asap.

Round 2: Allergy Salute

My mother coined this term. This is when the snotty kid continually rubs their nasty nose and then touches everything in sight.  Lil Johnny performed the allergy salute and then opened the door to go to the restroom. Moments later I ALMOST touched the door knob, but quickly grabbed a tissue and used that to protect my hand! Whew. Dodged another bullet.

Round 3: The ULTIMATE TEST (and the grossest)

While sitting at my guided reading table (shaped like a U) a little boy sneezed. In slow motion, the largest ball of **@#$@ came flying out of his nose.  I screamed like a scared little girl, but also managed to jump out of the way. Needless to say I handed him a lysol wipe. He can do his own dirty work.

So you see, I have a unique skill that is highly necessary for such a Dirty Job.  I’m sorry if I’ve spoiled your dinner from reading this. It was just something I had to get off my nose chest.   ick.

 

What odd skill does your job require?

 

 

Tuesday Confession: Low IQ

Tuesday, February 7th, 2012

I must confess. My IQ score has probably dropped 20 points in the past year…and will likely drop another 10 or so by the end of March. Let’s just say I wasn’t in the gifted category to start off with. Just cause I teach em, doesn’t mean I am one!

You see, it’s all these meetings I have to go to! THIS (tabloid) research proves it. We all know how I value the Dailymail’s opinion!

 

OK, I don’t really want to joke about that. I’ve already gotten in trouble once this week for my big mouth. More on that another time.

Seriously though Teacherbarbies, my students have LOST THEIR MINDS. They are doing some crazy stuff. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said ARE YOU KIDDING ME this week I would be RICH!

Thankfully there are one or two golden moments that save the day, like this one:

Girl:  Do you watch The Voice?

Boy:  No, I don’t watch TV unless it is Law and Order.

Girl: Oh yeah Law and Order is the best.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!??!!?  You are 9 years old and watching Law and Order? OMG

Less than 24 hours til the BIRTHDAY BASH STARTS!!!

I <3 Farmboy!

Tuesday Confessions: Extended Pain

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

It’s Tuesday and it is time to make a confession.

I fell off the wagon. The cereal wagon.

I was really naughty on Sunday and bought Honey Nut Chex. I vowed this would be the last box of Honey Nut Chex, and it would last at least a week.  The box in the recycle bin tells another story.

You see, Tuesdays are now Extended Pain Days.  Out of the goodness of our Teacherbarbie hearts, we tutor students until 4:30 (my school gets out at 2:30)….and wait around for their transportation until 5:07ish (today).

It’s a tough job, but somebody has got to do it 😉

Which is why I crankily rewarded myself with a bowl of cereal when I got home at 6pm….and then a second bowl…and then oh heck there are just crumbs left so throw ya head back and finish the box off with a bang.

I need an intervention.

I must also confess that my face looks like a Proactive before and after picture, except it is just the before side.

I blame that on stress, not the cereal. 😉

 

Whew…I feel better after sharing that. Tomorrow I will be sharing my new crafty calendar I made over the weekend. February is Farmboy’s birth month and I am coo coo for cocoa puffs over birthdays! :) (I had to fit in one more cereal reference…sorry)

 

 

 

 

Tuesday Confessions: I’m a Weirdo Magnet

Tuesday, January 24th, 2012

I have a confession to make. I’m a weirdo magnet. Wherever I go, I seem to attract them.

Please don’t be offended. I’m not talking about the people I know and love. I’m referring to strangers…weird ones…are drawn to me.

For example, a random man came up to me in Target a few weeks ago looking desperate. I thought he was going to ask for money.  Instead he asked me, “What’s a onesie and where can I find them.”

Yesterday’s encounter was a 12+ on the WEIRDO scale (and that scale only goes up to 5).

I’d stopped by Central Market to grab some dinner. Central Market is very Shi Shi Shi Shi Shi (as Kevin on Real Housewives would say). I shop there because most people in the parking lot drive vehicles that are MUCH nicer than mine, therefore they are less inclined to ding my door…and you all know how much I hate that! grrr

OK, back to the story.

I was browsing through the cheese section when a stranger walked up to me and asked this:

Weirdo:  Excuse me, where did you get your boots?

Me: (Gushing because my riding boots are Fab, and thinking oh what a nice man who wants to buy his wife some boots for Valentine’s Day)  OH these are Clarks. They’re a British company. You could probably get them at Dillards, but I got mine in a boutique. I’m sure you could find them online.

Weirdo: Great! I belong to a Star Wars group and those would make the PERFECT (with gusto) Jedi boots. We’ve been searching for the perfect pair for a long time.

Me:

Weirdo: I’ll have to tell all the guys about them. Thanks miss.

Me:

As you can see, I was speechless.  I am in love with my boots. They are buttery leather goodness.

My heart was broken. Did I really look like a Jedi in my cute Teacher Barbie outfit? Did that weirdo really just ask me this question in the middle of the market?

I came home and googled Jedi boots.

I found this.

That man has a good eye for boot fashion.

Thankfully I looked like Obi-Wan Kenobi, because Ewan McGregor IS HOT!!!

So I will continue to rock my Obi-Wan boots around town, and apparently the invisible homing beacon that draws all these odd folks in.

I have a bad feeling about this.
―Obi-Wan Kenobi[src]
Are you a Star Wars fan?  Random fact- I watched the Star Wars movies in numerical order, not the order in which they were released.  I wouldn’t recommend it. LOL

Tuesday Confessions: Dirty

Tuesday, October 11th, 2011

I have a confession.  I have planned in advance not to wash my hair.  I am too tired after spending 7am to 8pm at school today to explain all the details why, but if I don’t explain a little this post will seem even more silly. I’m silly. Sleepy silly.

I do this quite often though.

I don’t know why I’m confessing about my dirty hair.

I have a dirty hair scale I’ve created in my mind. Like a rubric for all my Teacher Barbies out there.

It includes things like…

What time of day did I was my hair yesterday or today? (The later the better)

Did I eat in any restaurant that made my hair stinky? (Greasy Spoon joints like Jim’s or Mela Indian food)

Did I put my hair up in a bun during planning and now have a giant crease in the back of my hair?

Can said crease be hidden by putting it back in a bun?

Can simply braiding or pinning my bangs back cover it up?

Does anyone give a *@#$?  (No)

See all the decisions that go into washing hair?!!?

I have complicated the situation by cutting bangs again. I LOOOOVVVEEEE chunky bangs.  One problem. She didn’t cut mine chunky enough.  They are very 2nd grade cute cut, not hippy 70’s wannabe cut.

Bangs get durty. Fast. I notice this more now that I am Katy Perry brown.

 Good bangs day for Katy

 Dirty bangs day perhaps?

Using cleavage, I mean flowers to distract us from your dirty bangs?

 

I love Katy Perry.

Have no fear friends. I will not be stinkin up the place too badly.

I know it is best not to wash your hair everyday, but to help I use THIS STUFF!!!

I highly recommend it (and you can find it at Walgreens and Target)!

And because I haven’t LMAO enough today, you must watch this kid sing my favorite Katy Perry song (Yes it has been around a long time…still funny to me) Why didn’t he download the lyrics!? lol

[youtube lm_n3hg-Gbg 640 510 ]

I need to work. I’m too tired.

Maybe tomorrow I will tell you about the fun stuff we did tonight at our Ancient Cultures Time Traveling Event! I don’t know why I capitalized all that.

Anyone else have funny hair secrets?

Tuesday Confessions: ENGAGED

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011

 

The Bachelorette Ashley that is.  To JP aka Mr. Smiley

I have a confession.  I watch The Bachelor/Bachelorette.  I have for years.

I missed a few seasons during my No TV years, but I’m back on reality trash track.

I spend most of the show texting my BF Nurse Melissa about how stupid it is and how Ashley needs to wear more clothing.  Farm Boy usually says “Bloody Hell” as soon as he sees it come on and leaves the room.  He’s just jealous.

Nurse Melissa said I wasn’t a good blogger if I didn’t do a recap of the finale.  Unfortunately, I’m too tired to recap this sad season finale. It was just too depressing to see silly Ashley let poor Ben get all the way down on his knee to propose without stopping him. Jerk face.

Why is she smiling!?!

It was pretty obvious she was going to pick JP from early on.  She was just way too into his body, and we all know that having a hot body makes for a long lasting relationship. lol

She can’t even skate without being all over him. Is he pretending to not know how to skate so she can teach him? Somebody get him a Granny Skate Walker quick!

 

This has really been a disappointing season. Which is why I’m more concerned with who will be the next BACHELOR!

ABC has a habit of recycling  one the losers and making them a winner! lol

I personally think Ames would be good. He is odd, but interesting. Who else quotes poetry and literature and travels the world and… ok anyways we also can guarantee at least 20 crazy kissing scenes (did you see that elevator kiss!? ick!).

My personal favorite was Constantine. He was so normal.

You can make me pizza anytime :)

My favorite scene/quote of the season was when Ben F and Constantine (the Twins) were losing the dragon boat race and said:

Ben F: We’re getting smoked.

Constantine: Like salmon, bro.

 

No matter who it is, I will probably watch.  In fact, I think I’ll host Monday Night Bachelor Bash at my new place.

Everyone is invited (as long as you don’t mind watching it on my 19″ 1990’s TV).

 

SO there, I’ve confessed.